


Salty Storms

by awdorkable_turtle_epidemic



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Comedy, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 07:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6043918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awdorkable_turtle_epidemic/pseuds/awdorkable_turtle_epidemic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Envy is a delicious, tired thing, and Kaoru is better off without it,  just as he's better off without Kanata. Too bad he can't seem to be rid of either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salty Storms

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I did this for a friend who really likes these two but can't find enough fics for them. I legit don't know anything about this fandom or the characters. Everything is written out of sheer bullcrap and a few character notes my friend lent me. If this story is an abomination in any way feel free to comment but do realize that I will lack the moral obligation to care as, again, I honestly have nothing to do with this fandom or characters.

Kaoru doesn’t notice at first. He’s a bit distracted—he can smell the raspberry of her lip gloss and he’s almost at the funny part of the joke. She’s the one to turn away, and he doesn’t get to ask what’s stolen her from him when he catches the yelling, too.

“Isn’t that the president from your club?” She mumbles on his jaw. He has half a mind to tilt his face and catch a more pleasant afternoon, but he doesn’t think he’s ever seen Kanata get chewed out so viciously by anyone before. It’s a bit entertaining, if not a little pleasing, to see Kanata’s frown, but it sits awkwardly with his curiosity and the warm bit of him that lurches at the sight of a girl’s tears and injured birds.

Still, he isn’t going to let this ruin the rest of his date. 

Kaoru edges closer to the loud, undiscernible words, even as he says, “Let’s get out of here, Shiori.”

She tenses under him.

“That’s _not_ my name.” She hisses, slipping out of his arms. She flips her hair behind her, haughty even against the embarrassed red over her nose. “I bet Marine Bio Club President would remember it!”

The footsteps that carry her away aren’t louder than the argument, but his cusses are.  Kanata always had such a way with pissing on his mood—it might even surpass his abilities as an idol, the prick.

So much for a nice date.

* * *

Kaoru sulks into surfing, which in itself abolishes the sulking. It’s water spraying on his elbows and sand in his nails. It’s a clever flirt with a cute polka dot clad bikini brunette who reckons she can surf better than he can, and it’s swimming out to hide amongst a cliff of rocks when her voice becomes the sound of his teeth grinding. 

He’d left his bag back there, damn it. She’s calling for him. When did he give her his name?

“Are you cowering?”

Kaoru tenses, turns, scowls.

“Get out. You don’t get to be here.”

Kanata’s still in his uniform, standing above him on the rocks. His face quirks with a smile, but Kaoru can taste the tension in the blue-haired boy’s shoulders better than he can taste the salt in his mouth.

Kanata leans over the edge. “Get out? This isn’t your bedroom.”

“No, this is the ocean, and I’m surfing here.”

Kanata still wears that upturned, desperately happy smile. “You don’t _own_ the ocean.”

“No, but you already ruined my day once. You don’t get to be here to gloat about it, on the same day, too, no less, you shameless douche.”

“Gloat—“ Kanata laughs, shaking his head, like Kaoru’s the one being unreasonably insufferable. “Don’t you have idol practice?”

“Don’t _you_?” Kaoru jeers. Blaming Kanata froths restlessly in his stomach. He can’t help thinking that raspberry lip gloss would’ve tasted nice, too. Granted, he did mess up the girl’s name, but it was Kanata’s argument that distracted him, so—! “Why are you here?”

“I—“ Kanata’s smile stumbles. His face contorts—compensating anxious truths stuffed hurriedly under his skin with a relaxed cheerfulness that doesn’t settle the debt.  “I like the ocean. It… calms me.”

“Yeah, well,” Kaoru exhales heavily through his nose. His clever retort leaves him at the sight of Kanata’s furrowed brow. Kanata’s frown follows him when he closes his eyes. “do you… do you need to be calmed?”

Kanata doesn’t answer him. There’s something he searches over Kaoru’s face, and Kaoru doesn’t know what it is, doesn’t know whether or not he’d give it if he knew. The waves around his ankles feel heavy.

“Is this about whatever you were getting talked down for?” Kaoru asks, without meeting Kanata’s eye. There’s a horizon to look at, a crab to his left, a boat far out—anything but the strange way Kanata looks at him like the answers are sunken into his cheekbones.

“Yeah.” Kanata says, impossibly softer than his usual tone.

“You, uh…” Kaoru’s a lot better at this with girls. “you wanna tell me about it?”

Kanata considers him. Kaoru holds his gaze this time, and it itches in the way he imagines his voice quivers when he sings—how his body doesn’t sway smoothly enough and how knobby his knees become. How he brags about being an idol to her ear, even though his ribs feel like they’ll cave into his lungs. How the instructor’s eyes can pass over him, no matter how charming a smile he gives.

When they consider Kaoru, it’s too many times that he’s denied.

When Kanata considers Kaoru, it’s no different.

Kaoru’s nails physically ache from restraining against ripping at Kanata’s apologetic smile. His teeth crumble into ash in his mouth, heavy and thick in his throat. Kaoru will not stay here and let this growing heat melt him from the inside out. He’s empty enough already.

Distractions, distractions—maybe he can tolerate the polka-dot bikini brunette after all.

He’s already a good ten feet away when Kanata calls for him.

“I, um-“ Kanata’s smile morphs from apologetic to hesitant. “I actually feel like some ice cream. This isn’t my normal beach to, er, gaze longingly at. Do you know a place?”

Kaoru scowls. His words taste sour in his mouth. “I’ve got a cute date to attend to—time better spent than trying to help your cravings.”

Kanata is never two steps short from unfazed. “Yeah, but you were gonna skip practice tomorrow for a date anyway, right? Indulge your president for a moment.”

It’s Kaoru’s turn to consider Kanata, and he’s quite ready to deny him just as he was denied.

He’s sure he’s said no, but somehow he’s leaning against the counter, watching Kanata pile mint chocolate chip ice cream on lemon flavored crushed ice.

“That’s a terrible combo. Can’t you pick something a little less—“

Kanata cuts him off. “Eccentric? A marine biologist must always be ready to try new things!”

“I was going to say weird, you weirdo.” Kaoru sneers. Kanata shrugs, his easy-going smile more prominent over the furrow of his brow.

“Do you have any—“ Kanata starts, and Kaoru is quick to finish.

“No. _No_.”

The girl at the cashier raises a brow.

“What?” Kanata turns to him, puzzled. “What’s wrong?”

“I know what you’re gonna ask. You’re gonna ask if they have any soy sauce. You’re eating ice cream, please, have some remorse. Try to recall whether your mother birthed you as a human being.”

Kanata’s grin touches his ears. “How did you know I was gonna ask for soy sauce?”

“Because you have that sort of disgusting reputation.” Kaoru sneers.

They sit at a booth, and the shop doesn’t serve soy sauce, much to the blue-haired boy’s dismay (it’s an ice cream shop, Kanata, _please_.).

Which doesn’t even matter because Kanata is ever prepared and pulls out a soy sauce packet from a ramen pack in his bag.

“You have emergency soy sauce.” Kaoru recites dully. “I can’t believe you. Please withdraw from the Marine Bio club. I can’t work under you.”

Kanata smiles, too much for one boy and somehow not enough anyway. “Thanks for this, Kaoru. I mean it.”

Kaoru’s lips press in a firm line. He wants to tell the boy off, but Kanata… looks a little less tired, a little less like it hurt to move, and he suddenly becomes the thinnest of glass, and Kaoru can _break_ him.

He’s ready to.

But he doesn’t.

Silence sinks its teeth between them. Kanata gives too much attention to his ice cream.

“What do you…” Kanata squirms. “What do you plan on doing after Yumenosaki?”

Kaoru blinks. He hadn’t been expecting that.

“You mean after graduating?”

“Well, yes.” Kanata swirls the soy sauce into the mint chocolate chip. “You’re not very serious about being an idol, but you… will you still become one?”

Kaoru laughs, but it’s more startled than out of humor. “What’s brought this on? Who cares what I do? I’m not gonna worry about it now.”

The silence blankets their ears.

“Why are you asking about this?” Kaoru looks at Kanata through narrowed eyelashes.

Kanata smiles, but it’s cold and weak. “I was having a talk with Kunugi-sensei today.”

“Yeah, saw that. Didn’t seem too pleased.” Kaoru rests his chin on his palm. “What did you do?”

“He wanted to refer my name to an agency.”

Kaoru blinks. Something green and hot shoots in him, but he thinks of the way last week’s blondie smelled, how he should call her up again, how no one else (least of all Kanata) could because of how intimately she pressed his name against his neck. Does he remember hers…?

If he focuses on how she smelled then he won’t notice that rage try to slip by him.

“That’s—that’s great! You won’t have to hunt when we get out. You—“ Kaoru stops and frowns. “Why did Kunugi-sensei yell at you?”

“Well, he asked me how I planned to further my career as an idol after graduating.” Kanata states. “And I said I didn’t.”

What?

_What?_

“You—“ Something hot and hot and _hot_ is climbing higher and higher inside Kaoru. “You—you’re refusing? You don’t—“

Kanata’s shoulders sink. “I was really conflicted about it, but… I… I thought a lot about it, and I decided I don’t want to be an idol anym—“

It happens quickly. Kaoru doesn’t even see his own hand move. He’s standing, Kanata’s mouth is open in shock, the ice cream is smeared over his tie and the bowl rolls noisily on the floor.

“How-how _dare_ you? You—you actually have a chance to—they chose you and you still—“ Everything in Kaoru burns. He can feel every insecure tremor in the last few years quake in his spine. He can smell every angry thought he’s ever had, can hear every dismissed glance, can taste that raspberry lip gloss like blood on his tongue. The anger becomes him, becomes his name until even his name burns away. “You ungrateful, selfish _bastard_! You—you—!”

It hurts to breathe. It hurts to see Kanata look at him with surprise, like he doesn’t know how much more he can achieve as an idol, more than Kaoru, and still—

When Kaoru realizes the wetness on his hand isn’t from spilled ice cream, he bolts. He won’t give Kanata the sight of seeing him shatter.

He should’ve broken Kanata when he had the chance.

* * *

He skips practice for four days straight and buries himself in faceless arms and hollow smiles. It’s lovely and horrible—it’s a girl paying attention to the hair on his neck and him avoiding the fountain at all costs and it’s surfing into oblivion and away from those rocks and it’s—

Thinking about what he wants to do after graduating and that thought—that corrosive idea that—

That he can choose not to be an idol.

(but he loves it, doesn’t he?)

It’s dark and he hasn’t left the beach. He swims back and forth, stomps all over on his own thoughts only to pick them back up and dust them off. He wants to sleep, he should be getting home, but he dives underwater instead and floats amongst the suffocating black—here where he can’t hear anything and there’s nothing beyond the blood rushing through his ears. Here where there won’t be screaming girls and harsh words, where he won’t be anything more than a speck and even less, and that it can be the best of him there ever will be.

His lungs screech for air, and he indulges himself for just a second more—the sea can crush him and he is okay with it for just this second.

But not the second after that.

He has a family and girls and Yumenosaki and Undead and they all push him to the surface.

“Ka- _Kaoru_!” Kaoru blinks. Ahead of him, waist deep in the shore, is Kanata.

“Kanata? What are you—“

“Thank god, I—“ Kanata’s eyes gleam under the moon. His cheeks are flushed and caught in a wince. “I saw you swimming, but you sank and you weren’t coming back and there wasn’t anyone around and I thought you were going to drown an-“

Even though his head is above the water, he can still hear the blood in his ears just as loudly. “Kanata, you… you were trying to save me?”

“I thought you were drowning!” The boy wails.

The water slaps against Kaoru like an apology. His voice still carries out, dumbfounded. “But Kanata, you—you don’t… you don’t know how to swim.”

“I thought—I thought you were drowning.” Kanata repeats quietly. There’s water splashing about and breathing, but nothing else for the long minutes it takes for Kaoru to process the situation.

“You—you idiot!” Kaoru hisses. He wades against the water and grabs Kanata’s elbow, dragging him back to the shore. “I can’t believe you—“

Anger clogs his throat, but it isn’t alone and he doesn’t know what to name the rest of the warmth.

“Let go, Kaoru!” It’s a rough release, one that sends Kanata stumbling.

“Of all the idiotic—“ Kaoru clenches his teeth. He wants to yell, wants to punch this stupid boy, but it coils viciously in his chest and he needs to—he needs to reign himself in before he does something he’ll regret (this anger again think of the girl last week she smelled like fresh blueberries). He sighs, inhales, sighs deeper.

“What are you doing at the beach at this late hour?” Kaoru glances at Kanata, but only for that brief second. Any longer and he’ll remember Kanata’s words—he’ll taste how heavy his own tears felt and he’ll think about how Undead wants more of him and how he doesn’t have much left to give.

He doesn’t want to think about how Kunugi’s gaze must’ve passed over him before fixating on Kanata.

“I could say the same for you.” Kanata says softly. His pants squelch against the sand. “I’m here because you are. I came to find to you.”

Kaoru forces himself to meet his gaze. “Why?”

“I feel like I—“ Kanata swallows heavily. “I want to apologize.”

Kaoru’s eyes narrow. _“Why?”_

“I… well, I made you angry, didn’t I? I don’t understand why, but…” Kanata’s eyes crystalize, sincere and sickening. “I’m sorry, Kaoru.”

“Are… are you an idiot?” Kaoru can’t stand looking at him any longer. He runs a hand through his hair, stiffness seeping from his shoulders and into his jaw. His hair is still wet and he hadn’t realized how cold the air had gotten. “You’re apologizing and you don’t even know what’s wrong? Unbelievable.”

Kanata frowns. “You’re still angry with me, aren’t you? I’m sorry.”

Every apology heightens the boiling irritation in Kaoru, frustrating him. He doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t know how to handle this soy sauce loving moron and the openness in his gaze and the way he refused the offer of a lifetime for—

For what exactly?

“If you aren’t gonna be an idol, what are you planning to do?” If Kaoru were any less curious, he’d add a ‘not that it’s any of my business; you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.’

Except he won’t allow Kanata that kind of reprieve.

“I want to get serious about marine biology.” Excitement leaks into Kanata, reviving the lost vigor. “I’ve started applying to several academies with good research programs! There’s this one academy ten miles from Yumenosaki—it’s amazing, Kaoru! They’ve got this big interactive tank and they’ve got different researchers from Europe and Australia—“

His words become quick and impassioned, and Kaoru only follows through the light in the Kanata’s eyes.

“You’re good at being an idol.” Kaoru says quietly. Kanata stops. “You would be amazing.”

Kanata’s features become blurred. “Yeah, maybe, but… it’s not what I want.”

 _‘It’s what I want.’_ Kaoru’s thought loses itself amongst the waves.

Kanata watches the blonde-haired boy with careful unease. “Are you… are you still angry with me, Kaoru?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sure.”

Waves and sand and heartbeats and clenched fingers.

“… Kaoru?”

“Hmm?”

“What are you thinking?”

Kaoru picks up his bag and slings it over his shoulders. “I’m thinking you’re a real bastard for not taking the chance to be a star, so you better do amazing as a marine biologist or I’ll never forgive you.”

Kanata’s face bursts into a smile. “You can count on it!”

“I won’t bother.” Kaoru scoffs, shoving his hands into his pockets. The girl from the ice cream shop’s number is there. He could take her out tomorrow instead of idol class, but… “Go learn how to swim. It’s embarrassing that you’re aiming at marine biologist and you don’t even know how to swim.”

Kaoru doesn’t sleep that night, even though he thinks about nothing at all.

* * *

It’s a few weeks before graduation. His hands are full with equipment he needs to hand off to Souma, which he told Kaoru was a bad idea. He can’t defend himself from being decapitated if his hands are full.

Except he can’t find Souma anywhere.

After a full fifteen minutes of searching and a less than struggling turmoil to decide _screw it,_ _he has better things to do_ , he’s back in the club room.

Katana looks up. “You didn’t find Souma?”

“No, and I’m _not_ going to make any further attempt, so _don’t ask_.” Kaoru huffs, collapsing onto a chair. The president is hunched over the table, scribbling furiously. “What are you doing?” 

“I have to submit a rough draft of an energy conserving water filter for my application. I think it’ll look good with the report I wrote on habituating endangered starfish in maintained environments.”

Kaoru rolls a pencil across the table.  “You’re still serious about that, huh?”

“Mhmm.” Kanata looks up with a grin. “I hear you’ve got an upcoming show. Kunugi’s gonna be watching, so make sure to kill it! Although, you always do, so you’ll be fine. I’ll be rooting for you!”

Kaoru scoffs, although his lungs collapse onto his stomach, and it’s an immense hassle to set it back up.

In a few weeks, he won’t see Kanata anymore. He’ll miss his chance to tell the president how he’s still angry that he decided not to become an idol. He won’t tell him how brilliant it feels to be on the stage, that he could never make the decision to walk away from it like he did. He won’t tell him that it’s easier to skip practice to hang out with a girl instead of sitting in that practice room envisioning that the one girl becomes girls, and that he’ll lose their faces to all the different screams—that he’ll lose himself amongst all the different versions of himself that can please a different girl every time, but not all it once. How singing with his ears focused on the crowd’s roar is the best, but letting his eyes trail over crowd’s faces until they become blurred disconnects him so viciously that it becomes impersonal. That there’s an instant when he’s putting on his outfit, and he feels like he can’t be an idol, not with how ready he is to run, that he shouldn’t be, not when he’s popular with girls offstage but can’t tell if he’s the some onstage.

But Kanata—he can be the best idol—should be, so why wouldn’t he?

Kaoru can still tell him all these things. It sits there, on the tip of his mouth, so _ready_ to spill.

He makes sure to bury it deep into his date’s lips and hopes he’ll make it through the next few weeks and that those words will still remain untouched.

* * *

 

Kaoru doesn’t let his eyes find Kanata’s during graduation. He thinks about the agency Kunugi sent Undead’s name to, how they all agreed to stay together and make the damn best of it.

He’ll show Kanata—he’ll show the Kanata that would’ve decided to become an idol. He’ll show him how amazing he’ll be, how successful, how he’ll blow whatever he could’ve been out of the water.

Kaoru will become the brilliance he chose not to be. He’ll become the idol that reigned—that still would’ve reigned, even if Kanata had chosen to become an idol.

He lets himself this respite. He lets himself look for Kanata’s face, just to hold that memory where he can kindle it against his heart and let it fuel him when he walks onto a stage. 

There’s congratulations in his ears and a different girl on each arm. His father looks proud, even though he looks a little lost. His older brother claps him on the back, impressed that Kaoru managed to graduate with such a low attendance record for practice classes. His sister’s smile is prettier than usual. 

Too many faces and none of them are Kanata’s.

He doesn’t see him at all. 

* * *

Sweat slips down his brow. His throat is hoarse, but he can imagine the crowds’ throats are hoarser. The cheering still hasn’t stopped. He feels Koga’s hand on his shoulder, and they share a grin. The show was a huge success.

He wipes his face with a towel. Their manager bundles in with praise and applause. Undead’s anniversary concert went extremely well. Three years of success since graduating and debuting from Yumenosaki Private Academy, and still strong in popularity.

_Idols._

“Hey, Kaoru, this is yours.” Adonis points to a package on the table. Kaoru trots over, inspecting the box. It does have his name on it.

Inside there’s a bundle of soy sauce packets, with a ‘FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY’ scribbled on a note.

“Unbelievable…” Kaoru mutters. When he steps out of the building, there’s a man in a lab coat who waves at him with a big smile and a fish patterned tie.

* * *

“I saw your show. You guys are fantastic.” Kanata sets two bowls of ice cream drizzled with chocolate sauce.

Kaoru sniffs. Take that back— _soy sauce._

Kaoru indulges the ushering and ‘just try it’. He regrets it immediately. “This is disgusting.”

Kanata downs a spoonful. “It’s good, though, right?”

“Stop sending me soy sauce packets.” Kaoru throws the bundle across the table.

“But you don’t keep any with you! It’s—it’s unnatural!” Kanata cries out, collecting the ones that fell onto the ground.

“You’re unnatural—what are you doing, calling me out all of a sudden?” Kaoru studies him fully, taking in the same cyan hair strands and mirth-driven dimples. If a line or two had been added to his face, it’s only out of too many smiles. “I haven’t seen you since graduation. And your tie is awful.”

“My tie is the best. My coworkers love it.” Kanata grins. “You got popular. Told you you’d make a good idol.”

Kaoru doesn’t mention that he knows about Kanata’s recent breakthrough—how his paper is being published globally.

Instead, he says, “Did you learn how to swim?”

Kanata blinks. “I might’ve… attempted. I can keep my head above the water depending on my horoscope of the day.” He sits straighter. “Do you still like marine bio?”

Kaoru wants to say that he hasn’t thought about marine biology since Yumenosaki, but his tongue betrays him at that hopeful face. “Uh, sure.”

“I actually opened up a really neat exhibit, and I saw your band on this magazine and I remembered how much you used to like marine bio so—so I thought you might like to see it! Wanna go?” The former marine bio president leans forward, excited.  Kaoru leans back, surprised.

He is suddenly three years younger, eyes catching Kanata’s and waiting on that envy, on that bitterness and dislike that accompanies him at the sight of those blue eyes.

He waits.

(a second then a minute then a century and the taste of the soy sauce on ice cream still hasn’t left his mouth.) 

Waits and waits and waits.

It doesn’t come.

He grows back the years, learning to pack away Kanata and forget him. He’s brimming through concerts and smiling even when he’s tired and he’s here, in this ice cream shop, being invited out by an old rival.

Kaoru nods. “Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”


End file.
